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Number
10.
Life is
sexually transmitted.
Number
9.
Good
health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.
Number
8.
Men
have two emotions: hungry and horny.
If you
see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number
7..
Give a
person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for
weeks.
Number
6.
Some
people are like a Slinky ...not really good for anything,
But you
still can't help but smile when
you shove them down the stairs.
Number
5.
Health
nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
Number
4.
All of
us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays
no attention to criticism.
Number
3.
Why
does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, and a
substantial tax cut save you $30.00?
Number
2.
In the
60's, people
took acid to make the world weird.
Now the
world is weird and people take
Prozac to make it normal.
And The
Number 1 thought for 2008:
We know
exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among
millions and millions of cows in Australia, but we haven't
got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and
terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department
of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
"Life
is like a jar of jalapeno's.
What
you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."
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